In my experience, those who become defensive and angry in a discussion are those who aren’t sure their position is correct.
They respond with anger when they’re afraid of being found out, when they’re afraid they might be wrong.
That’s always been a good reminder for me when I find my ire raising: something’s not right with my thinking, and it’s up to me to fix it; it’s not up to me to attack someone else.
When in the history of the world has attacking someone with an opposite point of view brought them around to agreement?