Miley Cyrus, may I have five minutes?

Oh, my poor girl—are you really so lonely, so desperate, that you’ll do anything to get attention? You don’t have to. You can be a woman—a real woman—without becoming a prostitute, which I’m afraid is what you’ve done. You’re selling your body, but you could do so much more.

First, let’s put you in a classic little black dress, because I just can’t look at you in  . . . whatever it is you’re wearing.

Miley black dress

See? Don’t you feel so much better?

I suspect you want to show you’re not a “good little girl” anymore, although I don’t understand why so many in Hollywood think being “good” is “bad.”

But your behavior isn’t “adult.”
Strutting around in your underwear is what my toddler does.
And pretending to mate in public is what dogs do in the street.

You could do so much more.

Exploiting your body isn’t groundbreaking or original—you’ve just fallen for the oldest trick in the book.  Check the Old Testament—you’ll see that selling your body has been around for thousands of years. It’s not art, it’s vulgarity, and you can do so much better.

Look beyond the cheering fans in the audience, and see the reaction of adults—real adults, not mere grown-ups (my explanation about the difference is here). Adults who, by the millions, learned of your embarrassing exploits via the news.

We’re not cheering—we’re cringing.
Millions of women are rolling their eyes in frustration that, once again, the message has been lost that women have infinite value, fantastic worth, and incredible potential.

Millions of men squirm and look away because your behavior arouses something in them, and it makes them uncomfortable because they prefer to use those feelings for true women who respect and protect their bodies.

And the men who are enjoying you? They’re they same flabby, smelly guys that linger at the bra section of Wal-Mart. Creepy and icky, Miley. You can do so much better.

You could still be a real adult woman.

But right now you’re headed down a path that will not end well. I don’t care how many times you’ve watched “Pretty Woman,” females who sell themselves short don’t have happy endings. Look at Lindsey Lohan and Amanda Bynes. (Actually, let’s not, or I’d have to “paint” little black dresses on them, too.) There are thousands of porn actresses who can tell you about a life of misery and self-loathing. No woman deserves to feel that way about herself. None. Not even you.

You can do so much more.

You want to prove you’re an adult? Than do something adult-worthy. Real adults—real women—use their influence and names for good. You may be too young to know these women, but do a little reading about Princess Diana and how she used her name to change the world’s view of AIDS victims.

Another little black dress . . .

Watch a few Audrey Hepburn movies, then look up how she spent her name and her later years taking care of starving and neglected children.


And another little black dress.

Take a good look at Eleanor Roosevelt, then find out what she did for civil rights when no one else was talking about it.

And yet another classic black dress.

Real women–real adults–do real important things.

So can you.

     Despite the chill in the air, Sareen seemed determined to show Shem exactly what she had to offer. Not surprisingly, several soldiers had converged around Shem to share in the view.
     “Oh Sareen, this is just becoming sad,” Mahrree muttered, wishing someone would point out to the girl—maybe Sareen’s mother, who didn’t seem to be around—that her displaying behavior was most inappropriate.
     . . . But for the moment, Sareen was happy for the attention that, someday, she’d realize she didn’t really want.

~(Soldier at the Door, Book Two)

7 thoughts on “Miley Cyrus, may I have five minutes?

  1. Well all the women you named did adult things as you call them much later in their lives. Miley is very young. You are holding her to the standards of mature older women. I daresay too many adults forgot what it was like to be young.


    • That’s right–they are older. Great role models for teenagers! I know of several girls this age that look up to these women–that’s why I used these three as examples. My oldest daughter’s biggest hero was always Jane Goodall, not some singing, made-up girl on TV.
      I don’t see anything wrong with girls looking up to mature and celebrated women as a pattern for their future lives. Maybe they can’t do all that these older women have, but they’re setting themselves on the same paths of humanitarianism right now. You may be pleasantly surprised how many young women actually look for ways to improve the world, and not to exploit it.


  2. Great article but as a man I take issue with this statement….. “Millions of men squirm and look away because your behavior arouses something in them…….”

    No need to reduce men to sexual creatures that are helplessly “aroused” simply because there is scantily clad woman dressing in a provocative manner. This sentiment does not do men justice, especially those that as you say “…. prefer to use those feelings for true women who respect and protect their bodies.”

    Her performance only induced cringing in myself sans arousal of any sort unless you consider dry heaving a form of “arousal.” No measure of arousal reserved for my wife was wasted on that misguided girl and I’m sure I speak for more than myself.

    I believe in the sanctity of all life and that both men and women have immense value beyond their sexual prowess. Please let us not lift up one sex at the expense of the other.

    Otherwise I agree wholeheartedly with your sentiments in this regard thank you for the great article.


    • Thanks Daniel, and I wholeheartedly understand your position. I wrote what I did because I’ve heard some men explain that certain images, behaviors and clothing (or lack of) incite an automatic physical response in them. Now, they don’t do anything with that response, so it goes away, but biology is biology. None of us are forced to follow biological urges–although some argue they must, but that’s a post for another day–and I appreciate hearing from men who recognize that difference.


      • “……but biology is biology.” is a pretty demeaning remark. If I were to make any remark about a woman and generalize her behavior or reaction to any circumstance on the basis of her hardwired biological responses would be rightly deemed sexist.

        Yes some men might have found that alluring but I contend that some women might have as well. Pornographic addictions do not discriminate on the basis of chromosomes. They have more to do with an addiction to hormonal cocktails triggered by visual stimuli and are more akin to a drug addiction than anything else. So in a sense it is biology not hard wired but a trained and learned biological response.

        Another point I would like to make is Miley’s costuming and hair made her look more like a cross dressing 15 year old boy and not that of a woman and so I think the only men or women that would have found that performance alluring would be those who have a fetish for said juvenile cross- dressers, but hey that is just my opinion.


      • Didn’t mean to be demeaning, Daniel, or to push your angry button. Sorry. I suffer from “biology” too (in many ways). In fact, we all do, no matter our gender. To ignore the power of biology (and chemistry) in our physical selves is to ignore a basic fundamental of who we are.
        So the challenge is to rise above the biology, to control it, channel it, and use it at the appropriate times. Many adults do that successfully and admirably, and poor Miley still can learn to as well.


  3. Thank you for this post. I felt the same sadness for her when I saw the news reports of her “performance”. I wish that every woman would realize the goodness she could create by using her influence for good.


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